Episodes
Sunday Dec 18, 2016
Creamguide(Films) Commentaries: Damien Omen II
Sunday Dec 18, 2016
Sunday Dec 18, 2016
Chris, Craig and Jack team up with special guest, Rose to fearlessly analyse the second entrant into THE OMEN canon. Includes gratutious reference to the greatest sci-fi film of all time (Flash Gordon) and protracted chat about Danny Kendall. Plus some contributions or less from the actual Creamguide(Films) commentaries audience via the medium of Facebook LIve. This episode was first broadcast live.
THIS COMMENTARY IS RATED 'R'
CREAMGUIDE(FILMS) COMMENTARIES will complete the trilogy Omen III and then it's Christmas!
Sunday Nov 13, 2016
Creamguide(Films) Commentaries: Restless Natives
Sunday Nov 13, 2016
Sunday Nov 13, 2016
Chris, Craig and Jack revisit the best film Bill Forsyth never made as Restless Natives hoves into view on the big telly. The much promised chat about Edinburgh shops from the 1980s is in full effect, plus listen out for Chris not noticing the appearance of someone he actually knows in the film and not enough conversation about City Lights.
THIS COMMENTARY IS RATED 'R'
CREAMGUIDE(FILMS) COMMENTARIES will return with a podcast that won't make your apples grow
Monday Oct 31, 2016
Creamguide(Films) Commentaries: Halloween III
Monday Oct 31, 2016
Monday Oct 31, 2016
Come with us, why don't you? As Chris, Craig and Jack once again team up with special guest, comic book superstar Mark Millar, for a Halloween Eve chat about John Carpenter's HALLOWEEN III. There is chat about Nigel Kneale's hatred for pixies and discussion on which Dr Watson is the best of them all and which one is not. Plus lots of contributions via Twitter, from the actual Creamguide(Films) commentaries audience. This episode was first broadcast live don't you know, with varying degrees of technical success. Happy happy Halloween!
THIS COMMENTARY IS RATED 'R'
CREAMGUIDE(FILMS) COMMENTARIES will return with some chat about Edinburgh shops in the 80s
Monday Oct 24, 2016
Creamguide(Films) Commentaries: Bullseye
Monday Oct 24, 2016
Monday Oct 24, 2016
It's double trouble this time as Chris, Craig and Jack visit all the places Michael Winner had mates who let him film in their gaffs in order to make the superlative BULLSEYE from 1990. Marvel at the sheer artistry displayed by an imaginative director who knew what he wanted but never had the faintest idea how to achieve and wonder at Michael 'Two Oscars' Caine's 'American' accent. On the pub scoreboard of film criticism it is a definitive BULLSEYE...when what you actually needed was a double 3.
THIS COMMENTARY IS RATED 'R'
CREAMGUIDE(FILMS) COMMENTARIES will return with some spooky business and some terrifying technology!
Monday Oct 10, 2016
Creamguide(Films) Commentaries: Run For Your Wife
Monday Oct 10, 2016
Monday Oct 10, 2016
Ever said 'films ain't what they used to be'? Well, here's proof! John Chris, Craig and Jack as they suffer through the truly execrable RUN FOR YOUR WIFE from 2011. In the unlikely event you have a copy of this monster flop don't bother watching along with the panel; it's not worth it. It really is that bad. Indeed, there's probably a joke to be made about running for your life instead but we really can't be arsed thinking of it. Still, the commentary is fun! Honest!
THIS COMMENTARY IS RATED 'R'
CREAMGUIDE(FILMS) COMMENTARIES will return with some ramshackle nonsense which is a real Winner!
Monday Sep 26, 2016
Creamguide(Films) Commentaries: Creepshow
Monday Sep 26, 2016
Monday Sep 26, 2016
Hiya pals! It's the second part of our 1982 scary double as Chris, Craig and Jack dive into George the Aero's excellent portmanteau offering CREEPSHOW. Join in by arguing furiously with your near neighbours but then agree on how great Leslie Nielsen was then spend the rest of the day mothering over wilfully obscure TV shows. It's easy! As usual, kick in as the ident moves on and enjoy. However, watch out for a Stilogean interjection near the top of the shop. You'll know it when you hear it.
Monday Sep 12, 2016
Creamguide(Films) Commentaries: Poltergeist
Monday Sep 12, 2016
Monday Sep 12, 2016
Monday Jun 13, 2016
Creamguide(Films) Commentaries: G.B.H.
Monday Jun 13, 2016
Monday Jun 13, 2016
THIS COMMENTARY IS RATED 'A'
CREAMGUIDE(FILMS) COMMENTARIES will return with an adventure born in space
Monday May 30, 2016
Creamguide(Films) Commentaries: Doctor Who - The TV Movie
Monday May 30, 2016
Monday May 30, 2016
CREAMGUIDE(FILMS) COMMENTARIES is back! Back! BACK! And it's about
fucking time too. Join Chris, Craig and Jack in an adventure in
Rosemary and Thyme (or Bramwell) as they pick over the DOCTOR WHO TV
MOVIE from 1996 - on the very anniversary of its UK transmission - in
fine style stopping off to hear from commentary regulars Father Lionel
Fanthorpe, Michael Caine and Bob Mills (or Keith Richards) with special
guest references to Patsy Byrne and Len Kabasinski: together at last!
It's the DVD version that kicks in straight off the bat. So press play
from the off and enjoy some barely relevant chat that is at least half
human.
THIS COMMENTARY IS RATED 'R'
SPOILERS: He isn't
CREAMGUIDE(FILMS) REVERSE FAQ
1) 14th May, 1996
2)
He's been in lots of stuff, all of it shit. Except late period Brush
Strokes when it got miserable and an episode of Boon which was always
great
3) We preferred Dr Quim
4) Just over 9m
5) Southend, as it goes
6) He's a Canadian comedian. Quite successful, surprisingly. We imagine he shouts a lot
7) It was indeed simply called 'John Sessions' from 1990
8) It was Patsy Byrne!
9) Couple of other TV movies; Catherine the Great and The One that Got Away
10) Diana Weston
11) Clyde Bruckman's Final Repose from 1995
12)
Luis Silverado. It also featured Richard 'don't mention the dog' Todd,
John 'Q' Bluthal, Enn 'de Bargos' Reitel, Hywel 'Tarr' Bennett, Paddie
'Alfred Marks' O'Neill, Helen 'Naked Video' Lederer, Ron 'Pod's dad'
Donachie, A Taste of Dora Bryan, Judi Spiers, Bernard 'sandwich'
Bresslaw and a further constellation of stars no one but we remember
13) Vortex is a very thick bleach
CREAMGUIDE(FILMS) COMMENTARIES will return with a day of the great British holiday.
Monday Apr 25, 2016
Creamguide(Films) Commentaries: 2012
Monday Apr 25, 2016
Monday Apr 25, 2016
Run for the hills! No, it's not a callback to Grant Brady 'hair like a
lady'; it's the second part of the Creamguide(Films) disaster film
commentary double as the team suffer through Roland Emmerich shitfest
2012 so you don't have to! But if you really want to, join Chris, Craig
and - always third - Jack as they try to find something to talk about as
the awful spectacle unfolds in the background. Turn on the commentary
as the idents kick in and feel the desperation as the panel talk about
almost any other film they can think of while wishing they were watching
Earthquake.