TV Cream Audible offerings from

September 5, 2016  

In the spring of 2016, TV Cream sat down with Johnny Ball to talk about his 50-year career in show business. 

In this one-off podcast Johnny Ball really does reveal all. Such as...

How Bob Monkhouse took umbrage when he thought Johnny was stealing his gags; how Johnny's big break on The Val Doonican Show went spectacularly wrong; why he originally balked at the idea of presenting Play School; how a dreadful experience on Yorkshire TV spawned the creation of Think of a Number; the reason why the scene dock doors in BBC Bristol have a chunk cut out of them; why Play Away became a more lucrative writing gig than anything the LE department had to offer; Johnny's ill-fated sojourn to Central Television; and - and! - what went wrong on The Terry & Gaby show!

August 29, 2016  

It's the last in our triple-pack of summer holiday fillers (think of this undertaking as a kind of 8:15 From Manchester). And the set-up couldn't be simpler! Two fat-necked residents of 'TVC Towers' come together to discuss two TV programmes. But neither knows what show the other is about to make them watch! OMG!

This week's episode includes: A Willo the Wisp frieze and a big platter of salmon.

August 22, 2016  

The second of three podcasts from TV Cream to brighten summer holiday mornings. As before, two 'great friends' from TVC convene to discuss a couple of TV shows that they just watched. But which? Neither knows what programme the other is about to air...

This week's episode includes: Habitat self-assembly shelving and a man having his hair cut at home.

August 15, 2016  

A new three-part summer holiday filler from TV Cream! In this endeavour, two TVC pals sit down to talk about two shows... which they've just watched. However, the high concept here is that neither person knows what programme the other is about to show them.

This week's episode includes: A mounted stick-mic and un-replumped cushions on a banquette.

June 13, 2016  
CREAMGUIDE(FILMS) COMMENTARIES dives back 25 years to Kinnock's Britain with the searing indictment of casual suits that is Bleasdale's seminal G.B.H. It's just the last episode though, so listen carefully as Chris, Craig and Jack struggle manfully to remember what goes on around that scene where Bill Webster batters folk. Turn it on as the titles kick in and sing along to Jesus Wants Me for a Talbot Sunbeam. 


CREAMGUIDE(FILMS) COMMENTARIES will return with an adventure born in space

May 30, 2016  

CREAMGUIDE(FILMS) COMMENTARIES is back! Back! BACK! And it's about fucking time too. Join Chris, Craig and Jack in an adventure in Rosemary and Thyme (or Bramwell) as they pick over the DOCTOR WHO TV MOVIE from 1996 - on the very anniversary of its UK transmission - in fine style stopping off to hear from commentary regulars Father Lionel Fanthorpe, Michael Caine and Bob Mills (or Keith Richards) with special guest references to Patsy Byrne and Len Kabasinski: together at last! It's the DVD version that kicks in straight off the bat. So press play from the off and enjoy some barely relevant chat that is at least half human.


SPOILERS: He isn't


1) 14th May, 1996
2) He's been in lots of stuff, all of it shit. Except late period Brush Strokes when it got miserable and an episode of Boon which was always great
3) We preferred Dr Quim
4) Just over 9m
5) Southend, as it goes
6) He's a Canadian comedian. Quite successful, surprisingly. We imagine he shouts a lot
7) It was indeed simply called 'John Sessions' from 1990
8) It was Patsy Byrne!
9) Couple of other TV movies; Catherine the Great and The One that Got Away
10) Diana Weston
11) Clyde Bruckman's Final Repose from 1995
12) Luis Silverado. It also featured Richard 'don't mention the dog' Todd, John 'Q' Bluthal, Enn 'de Bargos' Reitel, Hywel 'Tarr' Bennett, Paddie 'Alfred Marks' O'Neill, Helen 'Naked Video' Lederer, Ron 'Pod's dad' Donachie, A Taste of Dora Bryan, Judi Spiers, Bernard 'sandwich' Bresslaw and a further constellation of stars no one but we remember
13) Vortex is a very thick bleach

CREAMGUIDE(FILMS) COMMENTARIES will return with a day of the great British holiday.

April 25, 2016  

Run for the hills! No, it's not a callback to Grant Brady 'hair like a lady'; it's the second part of the Creamguide(Films) disaster film commentary double as the team suffer through Roland Emmerich shitfest 2012 so you don't have to! But if you really want to, join Chris, Craig and - always third - Jack as they try to find something to talk about as the awful spectacle unfolds in the background. Turn on the commentary as the idents kick in and feel the desperation as the panel talk about almost any other film they can think of while wishing they were watching Earthquake.


CREAMGUIDE(FILMS) COMMENTARIES will return with an anniversary battering.

April 11, 2016  

Creamguide(Films) rockets (!) the future! with the very singularity of puzzlingly shit disaster epics: 1998's DEEP IMPACT.

Help Craig and Jack talk Chris down from a towering inferno of bafflement that has spanned two decades while they mix up Michael Biehn and Jurgen Prochnow and argue over the jelly tots on empire biscuits. There's swearing, comedy fart noises and sheer rage in a film whose ineptitude is so big only the biggest of the big screens can do it justice.



March 28, 2016  

Grab your giant carrot and take to the TISWAS stage as Chris, Craig, Jack and the Easter bonnet herself Rose sit trembling at the sheer unadulterated horror that is the rabbit version of Passchendaele: WATERSHIP DOWN from 1978. Thrill to the sounds of the Barry Manilow beat as the bunnies rip each other to pieces. And a Happy Easter! 



March 25, 2016  

Come with TVC...and you'll a world of imaginative swearing! Join Chris, Craig, Jack as they discuss the massively popular 1971 mittel European weirdo General Foods advert WILLY WONKA AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY in the company of returning actually-useful contributor Rose. Ponder the sheer wonderment of Gene Wilder's hair as you turn the commentary on as the ident appears and enjoy.


CREAMGUIDE(FILMS) COMMENTARIES will return with an Easter rabbitapocalypse


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