TV Cream Audible offerings from www.tvcream.co.uk

May 24, 2017  

Recorded on the evening of Monday 22 May, here's our unintentional, but nonetheless fulsome, tribute to the mighty Sir Roger Moore. We've added a new bit at the beginning - a Bondian pre-title sequence, if you will where we reflect on one of Britain's greatest ever film stars - but the rest is as it was recorded.

So consider this your re-entry into the urbane world of Sir Roger Moore.  Relax in the company of Chris, Craig and Jack as they rank the best Bond baddies, rank the best Bond haircuts and - of course rank the best Bond Bonds.

ds.

THIS COMMENTARY IS RATED 'R'

CREAMGUIDE(FILMS) COMMENTARIES will return...

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May 15, 2017  

By the finest scissors in all of Aragon, the Creamguide (Films) Commentary team go Bakshi insane with a detailed (and we do mean detailed), exhaustive (and we do mean exhaustive) journey through the intricate world of Tolkein.  Discover at last the difference between a fantasy and a space fantasy, and learn which characters from history are good guys - just not THE good guy.  Special bonus feature:  Does the Balrog have wings?  The definitive answer is inside.  Please feel free to comment on our various factual inaccuracies, but you are wrong, all content in this podcast is factually accurate. Warning lots of swears.

CREAMGUIDE(FILMS) COMMENTARIES will return to rake only moons.

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May 1, 2017  

Here they are, born to be kings - it's Chris, Craig and - to a fuller extent - Jack, to discuss what any 13-year-old boy would agree is the greatest directed film of all time.  Ably guided by Creamguide (Films) listener Jonathan Wilkins (it was he who nominated this movie for commentary treatment, don't you know?), our trio of immortals neatly sidestep the usual chat about inappropriate accents for a loving reminiscence of the greatest film in the entire Highlander canon. What does incompetent mean?  Listen to this and you will surely find out!

CREAMGUIDE(FILMS) COMMENTARIES will return with another listener choice very soonish

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April 17, 2017  

Flash, Flash we love you, but we only have 1 hour 45 minutes and eight seconds to wax lyrical about this stupendous cinematic offering.  From Ever Decreasing Circle's Howard's pervy relationship with Princess Aura, to the realisation that Brian Blessed doesn't actually SHOUT "Gordon's Alive!", this audio presentation is the first of a double-double bill.  We are in gratitude to the estimable Jonathan Wilkins who has hand picked both this and our next commentary offering (that's the first double). What's more - this is the first in our dualogy of films soundtracked by the archetypal music-isn't-just-for-you-c**ts band, the mighty, mighty Queen.

THIS COMMENTARY IS RATED 'R'

CREAMGUIDE(FILMS) COMMENTARIES will return cruising for a piece of ass

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April 1, 2017  

Chris, Craig and Jack hove into 2017 with a sideways look at an early 1980s classic. Yet to be honoured with a commercial home video release, this lesser known work from the pen(s) of Clement and La Frenais boasts a cast equivalent to a particularly pungent episode of 'Allo 'Allo! Thrill to the chat about cinematographers becoming directors and swoon as our trio of film buffs get excited about a decanter

THIS COMMENTARY IS RATED 'R'

CREAMGUIDE(FILMS) COMMENTARIES will return with a right bAstard!

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January 19, 2017  

Chris, Craig and Jack team up with special guests, Sharon and What We Just Watched's very own Graham (it's like The All-Star Record Breakers round our house) to dissect THE OMEN. Enjoy the chat about scary kids, Abracadigance and servants of Satan with particular expertise at hospital corners. Plus lots of contributions via The Information Exchange (ala Facebook), from the actual Creamguide(Films) commentaries audience. This episode was first broadcast live don't you know!

THIS COMMENTARY IS RATED 'R'

THIS IS A RE-BROADCAST OF THE ORIGINAL EPISODE, WHICH WAS TEMPORARILY REMOVED FROM YOUR PODSTREAM FOR REASONS OF VITAL, BUT OPAQUE INTEREST

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December 23, 2016  

Huzzah it's almost Christmas and the three wise men of Creamguide(Films) have travelled the Internet far and wide to alight on a copy of the seminal Christmas text Minder on the Orient Express. In a move painfully reminiscent of a better podcast, we join the action as Chris and Jack cue up the beginning of the feature length edition, while Craig has no idea what he is about to watch.  The chat soon gets very Christmassy indeed, so pull a cracker along with us and grab your crappy Rover Assortment to munch-a-long-with-Minder.

THIS COMMENTARY IS RATED ‘R’

CREAMGUIDE(FILMS) COMMENTARIES will return at some point in 2017. Merry Christmas pals!

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December 21, 2016  

Chris, Craig and Jack team up with pals on the Internet to closely dissect the third entry into THE OMEN canon. As well as discussing the film (in passing) the Maggie Moon Rose Marie axis is analysed, while discussion of short-lived soap operas reveals a universal truth - everyone loved Howard's Way. This episode was first broadcast live on Facebook.

WARNING: CONTAINS REFERENCES TO ROGUE ONE AND IN PARTICULAR A CGI EFFECT, WHICH ALTHOUGH IT HAS BEEN REFERRED TO IN THE PRE-PUBLICITY, YOU IN YOUR INFINITE WISDOM MAY CONSTITUTE AS A MILD SPOILER!

THIS COMMENTARY IS RATED 'R'

CREAMGUIDE(FILMS) COMMENTARIES will return with a special Yuletide episode on Friday 23 December, in which Craig comes face-to-face with his Christmas surprise!

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November 28, 2016  

Chris, Craig and Jack settle in to enjoy the *best horror film ever made with the best songs ever in a film* (this opinion is legally binding). Follow along the chat about the stunt arse, the non-superfluous use of the letter "d" in one of the lead actor's names and learn why Christopher Lee remains  one of Britain's greatest ever men, precisely BECAUSE of those biographical lies told about him after his death.  It's time to keep your appointment with Creamguide(Films).

THIS COMMENTARY IS RATED 'R'

CREAMGUIDE(FILMS) COMMENTARIES will return in early December...

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November 14, 2016  

Chris, Craig and Jack revisit the best film Bill Forsyth never made as Restless Natives hoves into view on the big telly.  The much promised chat about Edinburgh shops from the 1980s is in full effect, plus listen out for Chris not noticing the appearance of someone he actually knows in the film and not enough conversation about City Lights.

THIS COMMENTARY IS RATED 'R'

CREAMGUIDE(FILMS) COMMENTARIES will return with a podcast that won't make your apples grow

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